


Light in the darkness

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Saphael Winter Tales [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Best Friends, Blind Raphael, Christmas Lights, Disability, Disabled Character, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Winter, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:26:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8694523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: "Well, this way you're always around and you're basically like a guide dog - one that jabbers too much, sure, but you can also describe things to me and answer when I talk to you," Raphael explained and he only managed to hold back the laughter until he heard Simon's fake-hurt sound and his indignant intake of breath."Did you seriously just compare me to a dog? I'm not like a dog at all!""Sure you are. You're easily excited - especially when it comes to food -, you always almost tackle me to the ground when we meet, you love being pet, you always announce other people by yelling at them - basically the same as barking -, you also--""Oh my god, shut up! I get it, I'm a dog," Simon interrupted him but the fact that he was half-laughing told Raphael that he wasn't mad or felt insulted by his teasing, quite the opposite. Simon always seemed to enjoy listening to Raphael's view of him because it was like getting to know a whole different side of himself.





	

When Simon squeezed his hand gently, Raphael slowly came to a stop and tilted his head a little, listening to the starting cars on the street in front of them and tried to visualise which brand and colours the passing vehicles might have. Even five years after losing his sight almost completely due to a head injury during an accident, he still couldn't help the urge to try and picture everything in his mind whenever he listened to his surroundings.

"You know, it's not that bad that the application for a guide dog will take longer," Raphael uttered after a moment and fell into step next to his best friend when the other softly tugged at his hand to signal that they could cross the street.

"Oh? I do remember correctly that it was you cursing the whole system for postponing it yet again and that they maybe won't give you one at all? I'm pretty sure the term _heartless devils_ had been somewhere in the rant. It was just a few weeks ago," Simon pointed out and his voice gave away the teasing grin that was surely present on the other's face right now. Raphael huffed softly and kept himself from imagining the warm air rising from his lips in a white cloud due to the icy temperatures.

"That must have been someone else - I would never curse anyone," he objected but felt the corners of his own mouth tug into a soft grin and he knew Simon could hear it, even without looking at him and seeing the expression. The soft laughter from his best friend immediately confirmed this assumption and Raphael playfully knocked his shoulder against Simon's before pulling their intertwined fingers closer and pushing both of their hands into the pocket of his coat to protect them from the cold.

"You keep telling yourself that, Rapha," Simon laughed and now they walked even closer next to each other so that their shoulders brushed constantly and Raphael really couldn't pretend that he minded it. He had always loved being close to his best friend and this was also one of the reasons he didn't mind the situation with the guide dog too much because this way he could always be this close to Simon. Sure, he could still do that with a guard dog and Simon probably wouldn't mind but he still enjoyed this.

"So, why is it that you suddenly came to the conclusion that you don't mind it that much?" His best friend finally gave in and tugged him a little closer, probably to avoid that Raphael crashed into either someone or something. It was such a natural thing to happen that he didn't even really notice the gesture anymore and simply followed automatically.

"Well, this way you're always around and you're basically like a guide dog - one that jabbers too much, sure, but you can also describe things to me and answer when I talk to you," Raphael explained and he only managed to hold back the laughter until he heard Simon's fake-hurt sound and his indignant intake of breath.

"Did you seriously just compare me to a dog? I'm not like a dog at all!"

"Sure you are. You're easily excited - especially when it comes to food -, you always almost tackle me to the ground when we meet, you love being pet, you always announce other people by yelling at them - basically the same as barking -, you also--"

"Oh my god, shut up! I get it, I'm a dog," Simon interrupted him but the fact that he was half-laughing told Raphael that he wasn't mad or felt insulted by his teasing, quite the opposite. Simon always seemed to enjoy listening to Raphael's view of him because it was like getting to know a whole different side of himself.

"Well, yes, more like a puppy but...", Raphael added with a mischievous smirk and chuckled because he didn't have to be able to see to know that his best friend was glaring at him right now - or, trying to glare at him but failing hilariously because he had the softest puppy eyes in the universe and it was impossible for Simon to really look angry when he wasn't.

"You look ridiculous."

"You can't even see what I look like," Simon complained and until a year ago he probably would have flinched at his own words and follow them with an echo of _sorry_ s and calling himself insensitive. By now, though, Raphael had gotten it through the other's thick skull that it was fine and that he really didn't mind such comments when they came from Simon because he knew his best friend didn't mean it in a hurtful way.

"I have seen your face for most of my life, believe me, that's a sight I will never forget and I will always know what expression goes with what tone of your voice so don't even try to bullshit me on this, _mi amigo_."

Simon made a small sound that Raphael couldn't quite identify but he was distracted by the gentle squeezing of his fingers, signalling him to stop walking and the remaining bit of his sight let him guess why they had stopped; He could still kind of see differences in lighting and sometimes the faintest blotches of colour but no shapes, so it was impossible to manoeuvre around obstacles because the things he could see had no depths to them at all. Right now, he could make out some kind of glow in front of them and even though he hadn't paid much attention to the path they took - he still had trouble mentally tracking their whereabouts and connect everything to certain places, it only worked for very familiar ways like finding his way at home where he could easily picture his surroundings and where he was, even at different walking paces.

"The tree?" Raphael asked and Simon hummed in confirmation, brushing his thumb over his best friend's knuckles while he was probably looking up at the Christmastree that was set up in the open space where all the different shopping arcades joined up.

"I'm really glad that I can still see a little bit of the lights. It's frustrating most of the times to kind of see something that's completely useless because there are no shapes and no depths but I think I really prefer this over seeing absolutely nothing," Raphael sighed and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips because he really was glad that he wasn't completely wrapped in eternal darkness.

"Can you recognise the colours of the lights?" Simon asked and his best friend gave in to the urge to roll his eyes at that.

"No but I _know_ they are this yellowish-white because that's what they have always been, _idiota_. Stop being a dick," Raphael replied but there was abolutely no heat in his words whatsoever and the grin was clearly audible in his voice as well. Simon had always asked weird or silly questions to everything and Raphael was glad that the other had started to also do this concerning his impaired vision because it felt more natural and made it easier to live with this disability when the people around didn't just pretend it didn't exist or always treated carefully with whatever they said. Of course, Raphael would be pretty pissed if a stranger would dare to ask such a dumb question but this was Simon and he was practically allowed to ask him _everything_ , not matter how stupid or random.

"But seriously, I'm kind of glad about it as well. About you being able to see light, that is. It's kind of poetic, in a way, isn't it? Like you always have a light in the darkness," Simon said and his voice sounded tentative but so gentle that it made Raphael's heart speed up a little, his grip on Simon's hand tightening involuntarily.

"Of course I always have a light in the dark. As long as you're by my side, anyway," he heard himself reply and felt his cheeks heat up with the realisation that he had actually said this out loud. There was a stunned silence, followed by the softest and probably least stupid question his best friend had ever asked.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you?"

Raphael's heart skipped a beat, his breath caught in his throat and his lips curled into a brilliant smile. He didn't even get the chance to answer with more than a nod, his expression already giving his approval away anyway, and then Simon's lips were on his. Raphael closed his eyes with a sigh, free hand slipping underneath the probably ridiculous looking beanie Simon was wearing to push his fingers into the soft, warm curls at the back of the other's head and pull him even closer.

Saying that Simon was his _light in the darkness_ probably sounded horribly cheesy but it was simply the truth. Simon had always been the brightest light in his life, even before he lost his vision, and this careful, clumsy first kiss felt like the promise that it would stay this way for quite a few more years to come.


End file.
